When you feel like everything is a fight even when your trying to do the right thing. Why is doing the wrong thing, taking the wide path and pain seem so easy? Why is life so messy and complicated? Why does it hurt so deeply, yet all you want to do is hold on. Where do you fine peace in the storm and who steady your heart?
Do you ever find yourself exhausted not knowing what your fighting for anymore? The fight has been so long, the win so miniscule, the sacrifices too consuming that you have lost all sense of self. When you’re the only one fighting to keep a relationship alive, a family together, a friend from falling apart and a boyfriend to stay in your life. How do you let go, when the pain you feel is still less than guilt you’ll feel if you were to walk away? When do you honestly let go, and say, to hell with it all I’m going to put me first. Who steadies your heart?
Everyone should have someone who steady their heart, when life gets too hard and everything is falling apart. What do you do when you are your own healer, when you’re on one side knocking, but you know you also have to answer. Someone told me a story once about a man who was so down on his luck he had one banana left to eat, so he climb a tree to eat the last banana and end his life. He just couldn’t see a way through the shadows, so he ate the banana and throw away the skin. As he look down to end it all, he saw a man under the tree. The man picked up the skin began crying and giving thanks for the provision. He was taken aback that someone could be in an even worst state than he was and still hold on, so he climb down. Like someone said its not how you fall its how you get up.
Sometimes its someone who steadies your heart, in a way that no words are necessary. When they can wrap their arms around you, squeeze so tightly that no words are need. Because you know they calm your soul, heal your spirit and exudes a presence that compels you to push a little more to climb down from your doubts. Sometimes its your foundation of faith in a higher existence that steady your heart. The truth is as long as you keep moving forward in life something will always try to pull you back. So, in your moment of strength and triumph, fuel the person, the thing or the believe that steady your heart.